Songs that put a smile on my face :)

• Up, up, and away - Kid Cudi
• Cudderisback - Kid Cudi
• Redemption Song - Bob Marley
• Sunshine - Lupe Fiasco
• Boarding Pass - Wiz Khalifa
• B.A.R. - Wiz Khalifa
• Goodbye - Wiz Khalifa
• Yo Side of the Bed - Trey Songz ( Yuuuuupppp!)
• Shades - Wale
• Losing My Balance - J. Cole

and soooo many more! But those are the main ones :) especially the first 2

Aaaaaaahhhh!!!!!!!

I am screaming. The work that I spent a long time on today ... DELETED!! FTW

Soooo....

I got to present my anthology n English IV today && one of the poems I read left my teacher red in the face. She said it's because it was graphic blah, blah, blah. As much as I am a dreamers, I'm a realist. I'd much rather not sugarcoat shxt to put it simple. I read a poem that JASMINE MANS performed at BNV 2008. Here's the video. Also the video for another poem that was featured in my anthology is underneath.



Jasmine Mans ^




Alexis Marie ^

Tweet THAT Bishhh !!!!

Remember when I said I was taking a break from all the "social-networking sites" I'm on ?? Yeah ... that's going pretty fine and all, but I feel like I might just deactivate/delete everything. EXCEPT THIS BLOG. I'm still on FaceBook but it's not really as fun as it was in the beginning. I feel like the internet is taking over my life. Unfortunately, I need the SOB for work and what-not. So yeah, I think I will be deleting my Twitter (once again) & eventually deactivate FB again (possibly). The only thing about FB is that I've found so many family members I haven't seen in a while & it's nice to catch up. Idk ... I'm just tired of "following" and "friending" asshole-ish people. One day, I'll be able to just step away from the internet atmosphere. It's become too much. All this technology rapidly changing ( sometimes for no REAL reason ) is kinda annoying && I'm about to be at my breaking point. Not literally speaking ...

Ten to One .

TEN things I wish I could say to ten different people (but don't say their names)

1. i wish we spent more time with each other. i was afraid to see you in the state that you were in and refused to see you at times. i was selfish and now i cant shrug off the regret. i miss you.

2. its crazy because we've been best friends for the last 3 years and now its like im disappointed in you. only because you started something and didn't finish it. i just want the best for you.

3. funny how ONE situation changes our friendship forever. its not like how it used to be. we barely speak & i doubt i'll even check for you in the next few months (maybe years)

4. secretly i wish i had your talent. the way you string words together has me in awe of you. its funny cuz a few years ago i wasn't even checkin you AT ALL.

5. you're still number one in my book. for now ... (:

6. i wish we were as close as we used to be. it's been years since the last time i was genuinely happy around you. i just want that back. but i blame both of us and our stubbornness.

7. i think i like you. && i think it's only because you seem to be a tortured soul.

8. i hate you. but i thank you. i wouldn't be the person i am now if you hadn't contributed to my tribulations.

9. i hate that after 6 months you still have the ability to give me butterflies. i love you. no longer in love with you though.

10. you're my best friend. even through our arguments i love you 'til death. bah'lee dhat!! <3


NINE things about myself

1. i am beautiful

2. sometimes insecure about ME.

3. multiple personalities. depends on your vibe.

4. music is my life. take it away && i cant breathe.

5. i make wishes at 11:11 and hope they come true

6. i try to better myself ... even when it's not so obvious to you or me

7. poetry is my love, my mistress.

8. i want people to pay attention to me for all the good i've done & will do

9. i live with regrets. don't we all ??


EIGHT ways to win my heart

1. make me laugh & smile

2. play hard to get

3. show me your loyalty. prove to me that i am not wasting my time. and yours.

4. make me feel good.

5. tell me it's okay that i messed up. but show me how & help me from making the same mistake.

6. forgive me.

7. understand me. even when i don't understand myself.

8. love me. whole-heartedly & unconditionally.


SEVEN things that cross my mind a lot

1. Life.

2. Happiness.

3. Love.

4. Music.

5. Poetry.

6. My Ex.

7. Graduation.


SIX random things I wanted to mention

1. "Reset your cocks to my clock cuz it is time" - Queen GodIs

2. check my blog :) SelfReflectionx3.blogspot.com

3. Ms. Solo Dolo

4. get to know me. you might end up liking me & my personality

5. i HATE one word texts/IMs. they make me think i did something wrong.

6. can't wait to get my life started !!


FIVE people who mean so much to me (in no particular order)

1. Mom.

2. Sely.

3. [your name here]

4. Nile.

5. Me.


FOUR things I'm wearing right now

1. My shirt.

2. My boxers.

3. My socks.

4. Love.


THREE songs that I listen to often (at the moment)

1. Kings of Leon - Closer

2. J. Cole - Losing My Balance

3. KiD CuDi - Man On The Moon


TWO things I want to do before I die

1. Perform a poem for audience of literary lovers.

2. [almost)) EVERYTHING !


ONE : CONFESSION

1. I want to become a vegetarian, but chicken tastes oh so good :)

Always thinking ...
I'm going to take over the world some day.
If not the world, then your heart & mind :)

Dreams. Night-Terrors

Who knew dreams could be so tormenting. I don't think I even dream anymore. More like night-terrors. This time, I was in school && two kids decided to open fire on all the students during lunch. The kids were standing up on tables && I was sitting at the table in front of them with a few other student. Imagine sitting in front of the two kids who are shooting up your school. After everything was done && over with, I had to ask, "Can we go now?" && they let us go. We left & I went to a coffee shop where people were talking shxt. The owner complained about kids always spreading rumors about stuff they didn't know & I let her know that the school did in fact get shot up. The thing that messed me up the most ... while the shooting was happening everybody was looking out for everybody. In the end, everybody went their separate ways like it never even happened .... WOW. >:-(

-___-

P.S: I was watching Criminal Minds on A&E && at the credits I heard "The Funeral" by Band of Horses. To think, I would've never even recognized the song just a few WEEKS ago.

No Story.

what is an accomplishment?
webster defines it as "a quality or ability equipping one for society"
and "a special skill or ability acquired by training or practice"
i define it as life.
as surviving. as going through something.

i used to think i had no story.
that i'd accomplished nothing in my life
i believed for so long that i was nothing.
nothing special and that nobody cared.
dreams deterred. crashed and burned.
an angel with unstable wings.
that is who i WAS.

i had to sit back and think about Everything.
i'd forgotten i marched all through Brooklyn when 41 shots were fired.
i was 6.

i'd forgotten that i lived through living with a man who hated me for no reason.
10 years. he tried to break me.

i survived suicide attempts.
i survived being bullied. being called fat and ugly.
i got through my eating disorder.
i got through my parent's fighting.
through their divorce.
through feeling like i'd been abandoned.

i got through.

i survived being molested by a man with no morals. no soul.
i remember the day i told my mother.
i can still see the look on her face.
and the fire in her eyes.
i promised myself that day that i would never cause her that pain again.

i survived.

i used to hate everything about myself.
the way my face looked. the way my hair looked.
the way my body was shaped.
all that!

but i have learned to love whole-heartedly.
to stand on my own two feet.
to not let anyone tear me down.
because i know im great.
i've always been great and will always be great.

i used to think i had no story.
that i'd accomplished nothing in my life.
dreams deterred. crashed and burned.
an angel with unstable wings.
that is who i WAS.

who am i now?
i am her; an image of Him.
i am "us"
im a product of my environment, of them.

i am never a victim.
stronger than ever.
stronger than yesterday.
i am strength.

i'm a voice.
i speak for the voiceless.
i am a body that curves like the waves of a coke bottle.
a face that displays an exact replica of the man i call Daddy.

a spirit unbroken.
a mind never folding, but almost always conflicted.
i am a mixture of Earth, Water, and Fire;
red and white blood cells.

i am a woman.
a "sistah" with the blood of ancestors running throught my veins.
i am a set of eyes that pour heavy rains
whether i'm happy, sad, or laughing.

i am who i am, who i want to be.
myself. and that's not even the half.

i am where i am today because i PUSHED.
i clawed my way through my problems.
scratched and pounded on that damn glass ceiling
'til it fkcing broke!

and i am happy.

i used to think i had no story.
that i'd accomplished nothing in my life.
i know now that i was wrong.

my name is Dominique Ashley David
and this is part of my story.
what's yours?

i don't approve of [fuckery]

AT ALL!!! The situation that just happened w| my little brother && some neighborhood kids turned into one of THEE MOST fkced up situations I've ever witnessed (family-wise). Being that I am the person that I am...I try to play the fence when dealing with these other children and their parents. I take my brother's side but also try to get the full and entire story in its TRUTH. What just happened that my cousin (same age as Nile) witnessed the ENTIRE situation, told her mom, and moms said don't say anything or get involved.

Understandable. But when there are five kids, all accusing my brother of doing something that he may or may not have done, I expect to get the story in its entirety. Being that aunty said to stay out of it, I could not defend my brother against these fve kids & a parent as adequately as I would have liked while also maintaining a fair balance. Only after these people left from my front door & Mommy came home did I get additional details that would've been nice to know beforehand.

My whole point, if you say we are a family & that we stick w| each other through thick and thin, why is it that information about the incident in the neighborhood was left out purposely? But we are family? As I get older, I realize even more that BLOOD AIN'T ALWAYS THICKER THAN WATER. Obviously I'm pissed & so is Mommy.

So as I stated on Twitter "fkc it. ima just look out for me && mines kuz that was ohdeee fcked up."

*drops mic*

Last Day of Chem Class

The last day of chem class was fun. Honestly, the video is full of BS.

But i had fun in those 2 hours.

Done Pissed Me ( OFF )

I'm so ova-through with this female. Oh my gosh! She (my cousin) done pissed me off for the last time...this week at least. Lemme fill yall in quick fast. She just moved in with me & the other 5 people living here (brother, mom, aunt & her 2 kids). This was about 2 weeks ago. Why is it that just because she is blood related to my mother ( even that I'm not extra sure about), she feels that she can get real comfortable here. The fuck?!? Nahh boo. Shxt aint sweet 'round here ma.

Today she took my cell phone WITHOUT me knowing & has been gone for a good 4 hours. IM PISSED!! When I called her, she got upset talking 'bout "Don't rush me. Blah blah blah" Uhmmm. You're getting mad at me because I want MY phone that YOU took without my knowing? Where dey do dat at?? Had the nerve to curse & all. Talking 'bout "Fkc my hair. Fkc my application. I'm coming right now." Smh. Then she called my mother about an hour later to let her know she was soon on her way back to the crib. Two hours later, shorty's still not here. So I called her off my aunts phone; no answer. I ran upstairs to mommy's room real quick and called her off that number. She picked up. Mom told her off && was like get over here now. Oh BTW, shorty is 22. What I don't understand is why you're 22 w no phone of your own, but you talk to a whole bunch of niggas and none of them can get you one?? Smh. WTF?!? Ugh....ova-through.

*sidenote: its 1039 and shes still not here with my damn phone.

Goodbye '09

Okay, so the year is almost finished && guess what? I'm glad. There has been way too much drama in '09 for my taste. Smh. Just yesterday, 2 people were stabbed in my school during one of the three lunches. Also a young man has admitted to abusing his girlfriend's 23-month-old daughter. He also attended my school. Familial drama, friendships either damaged or ended; UGH I'm just so through with 2009. How about you? I'm hoping that this year doesn't end with another disappointment...I'm REALLY hoping for that. Other than that, all I can say for '09 is good riddance. I have no regrets && I can honestly say that I'm gonna be happy regardless :)


-jah bless-
xoxo DOMO! xoxo

Speak To My Soul, My Mind, My Heart.

I think I've given up on Hip-Hop. These past few years, more like a decade, have been filled with bubble-gum rap and lyrics full of "bitches, hoes, guns, money, and whips". Smhh. What happened to having a message behind the rhymes? What happened to trying to uplift the listeners?? I don't understand. I truly don't. This dilemma is what has me constantly listening to Rap from the 80s and 90s (early-mid 90s). HOWEVER... as of late, I've come across two young men who I just can't get enough of, musically speaking. They are Wale and J.Cole. I admit to downloading Wale's album instead of buying it, but the album is BANGIN!!! He speaks about real ish && I LOVE IT. J.Cole is my new love. I've listened to 2 of his mixtapes && I must say, he's breath of fresh air. Both of them are. Trust that both Wale and J.Cole stay on repeat on my laptop & my ipod. I love that both of them portray themselves in their music. They don't demean women, but they speaks truths of women. I love their rhymes && lyrical wordplay. They develop stories through their music && trust that I'm enthralled in each and everyone of them. I encourage you to take a listen (:

Poetry :)

Lately I've been on my poetry ish. I've been enjoying watching youtube videos of poets from Brave New Voices, HBO's Def Poetry Jam, Write Side Poets, and other venues. I'm in love with certain poets' words and their minds, which I think is most important and most beautiful in a person. The way these poets lace simple words with metaphors that create images in my mind...I'm just in awe at times. So I'm gonna post pics of some of them that have inspired me to continue writing when I couldn't go on and get free<3

Shihan - "This Type Love"

Jasmine Mans - "His Daughter"

Gemineye - "Poetic Bloodline"

Brook Yung - "Change"

Alexis Marie - "Corner Boys"

Decisions, Decisions

I've been making quite a few decisions lately, &&. I'm proud of myself.

I want to turn this blog into a place where I share my poems and ONLY my poems, even though I don't write as much as I want to.

I plan on letting my hair grow out...back to natural for me. Yay!!!

I'm doing the 3year program in my high school and I've been succeeding in reaching my goal :)

Let me give you a taste of what my schedule looks like so far:

• Regular school from 740-240
• Night School on Mondays & Wednesdays from 500-700 (Earth Science)
• Spanish I && II online from whenever-whenever

Honestly there are some days where I just feel really burned out. But I realize that I have to get through the storm in order to get to the better days :)

Jah Bless

Daddy.

we cant even have a full 5 minute conversation.
theres always something that comes up
where you have to "call me back" and hang up.
its always this or its that;
you never call me back though.
everytime we get off the phone
i realize that i know very little about you.
you, who provided the sperm to procreate.
you, who ive always been on time for;
yet for me, you've always been late.
you are my father.
you named me, giving me the initials of something
you've never been
D.A.D.
you weren't there when i needed you the most,
so i've learned to rely on the only one
who's been by my side the most.
Mom.
she...is my rock
and you...are my hard place.
through disagreements and disappointments
you've left an empty space in my heart.
feelings of abandonment and loneliness
arise eveytime i come to the realization
of our distance. then anger.
towards you, then myself.
how could i have let it get this far??
we speak of nothing but plans for college;
an invisible bridge that threatens to collapse
with each week passed.
and though our relationship hasn't been the best
over these past years,
i still deserve to know why your soul is
in turmoil && not at rest.
why when i call, i only get the voicemail.
it just rings and rings adn rings
until finally i get the automated lady
subliminally telling me to go fuck myself.
"your call has been forwarded to an automatic voice message system.
347-***-**** is unavailable. At the tone, please record your message."
BEEP!!!
im tired of leaving messages.
my messages and questions are left unacknowledged.
phone calls left unanswered and unreturned.
im tired of our whole situation.
if i could build a time machine,
and go back to the times when we were genuinely close,
i would do it in a heartbeat.
correct all the mistakes
and take the roads that lead away from defeat.
but i can't.
so i live with my regrets
and my feelings towards our relationship
one day at a time.
i love you,
but i cant deal with this anymore.
im walking away, but that door will always be open.
-FIN-

Wifey.

Seems like everytime I talk to her, I'm left feeling drained.

I just spent the last hour and a half researching GED programs for her

being that her computer isn't working.

We caught up on some things, while other topics were left

untouched.

I miss her. That's my best friend.

&& I love her to the point that I call her wifey.

Vice versa, she calls me hubby.

You know when you reach the point where

you feel as if you can't save everybody??

I'm at that point with her.

We've been through so many things,

even after I moved to Florida.

&& we're going through more drama now.

I love her to death, but I'm tired.

I feel like it's time for her to step up &&

take responsibility for her life.

'Cuz I won't be with her forever.

Understandable, right??

Happy Birthday to Me !!!!

well actually my birthday was yesterday (19October) but you get the point. LOL

although alot of people forgot or were just extra late with their best wishes

i had an incredible day yesterday.

i didnt get to take any pics but i do have video, courtesy of my best friend (Sely)

&&. her sprint phone (:

so heres part one of the birthday toasts

http://bit.ly/18unuF

&& heres part two

http://bit.ly/2v039M

ENJOY !!! <3>

Derrion Albert.

Last week, this young man was killed in the streets by a group of kids. He was kicked, punched, and beaten. I won't explain anything else. WARNING: The video is VERY graphic.

VIDEO DELETED!!!!

Derrion Albert.

They killed a young boy today. Derrion Albert was his name.

Sixteen years on the Earth & now he's lying in a hearse.

A college bound junior; honor roll student at Fenger High School.

Four blocks away from the school, he tried to help another kid, maybe a friend.

He was getting jumped, that's the new trend, you know.

I don't know him personally, or through an acquaintance. In fact, I don't know him at all.

But I watched the video of his mother, and then I watched the video of his ended life.

I cried tears of pain and sorrow for him, his family, and those lost souls.

You could hear people screaming for him to get. Get Up! Stand Up!

That's what Chi-town needs to do.

Stand up and take notice that sh*t like this doesn't fly.

Stand up and take the initiative to make the city a better and safer place.

They left him dying, ran down the streets, and kept fighting;

not knowing they had just taken away a life.

No arrests, "no witnesses", nobody's stepping forward.

The last time this mother saw her son was in the city morgue and nobody's stepping forward?!?

What exactly are you fighting for? Blocks and streets and colors?!?

When you're dead, what does it all matter?

They killed a young boy today. Derrion Albert was his name.

I never knew him, but I'll never forget him.

*UPDATE* Four suspects have been arrested and charged with first-degree murder as of Monday 28 September 2009. One has already confessed that he DID stomp on Derrion's head although Derrion NEVER striked him.

Life.

Life takes you on a journey through the bad so that you can appreciate the good.

I've had to learn that quite a few times in my nearly seventeen years of life.

Vegetarian.

Though I'm not a vegetarian, cruelty is

catching a fish just to toss it back into the pond.